Well I think I've done it. I have successfully done to my children what I swore I would never do.
I grew up in a somewhat entangled, broken, mended, uprooted family tree. No major complaints, just that I was "different". I swore that I would never allow my children to be put through the same hard aches I had to endure as a child. Who is my daddy? What is the difference between"daddy" and a father. Where is he? Can I have more than one daddy?
Well I have done it. My ex-husband decided the other day that he wanted to visit with Logan. I of course have never denied any request for visitation, so I arranged it. Watching my son drive away in the back of his car, made me nauseated. Angry. Worried.....I can't even describe the range of emotions. How dare he after more than a year of not taking him anywhere, he decide he's ready to spend time with him. How is it possible that it's even O.K.. You barely call, maybe once every 2 weeks, and that's being generous. You show up for birthdays and the odd special occasion to spend a few hours here with him. You complain to me you can't see him when you want to because of your hectic work schedule, yet you pay no child support.
What have I done. I have created the same mess for Logan that I have myself.
NO!
I am in a stable loving relationship with a man who loves me and both of my children equally.
I never bad mouth or talk negatively of my ex-husband in front of Logan.
My children will always have a home with me.
I will allow Logan to make his own decisions, about his father when he is old enough, and not try to tell him what he has to do.
This is all more than I had.
Little by little I am trying to fix the Karma.
Maybe if I do everything I can for my kids; my grand kids, or great-grand kids, will have the happy, stable, normal family tree I crave for them.
I grew up in a somewhat entangled, broken, mended, uprooted family tree. No major complaints, just that I was "different". I swore that I would never allow my children to be put through the same hard aches I had to endure as a child. Who is my daddy? What is the difference between"daddy" and a father. Where is he? Can I have more than one daddy?
Well I have done it. My ex-husband decided the other day that he wanted to visit with Logan. I of course have never denied any request for visitation, so I arranged it. Watching my son drive away in the back of his car, made me nauseated. Angry. Worried.....I can't even describe the range of emotions. How dare he after more than a year of not taking him anywhere, he decide he's ready to spend time with him. How is it possible that it's even O.K.. You barely call, maybe once every 2 weeks, and that's being generous. You show up for birthdays and the odd special occasion to spend a few hours here with him. You complain to me you can't see him when you want to because of your hectic work schedule, yet you pay no child support.
What have I done. I have created the same mess for Logan that I have myself.
NO!
I am in a stable loving relationship with a man who loves me and both of my children equally.
I never bad mouth or talk negatively of my ex-husband in front of Logan.
My children will always have a home with me.
I will allow Logan to make his own decisions, about his father when he is old enough, and not try to tell him what he has to do.
This is all more than I had.
Little by little I am trying to fix the Karma.
Maybe if I do everything I can for my kids; my grand kids, or great-grand kids, will have the happy, stable, normal family tree I crave for them.
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