What goes around comes around.

I find myself in a very precarious situation.

Four to five years ago I was married to a man who let's just say was not for me. My friends tried to tell me, but I was convinced I had done the best I could do. Turned out I was wrong. Luckily for me I finally grew backbone enough and ended the relationship. Now, 31/2 years later I am in a stable, loving relationship, with 2 wonderful kids.

My dilemma?

I have a friend. Whose husband is shall we say......an asshole. He shows very little respect or regard for her physical or emotional well being. He does very little for his kids, as far as we the outside world can tell. He is 100% worried about himself. It all sounds a little too familiar. How do I help her? I find myself at a loss being on the other side. I know the only thing I can do, is be supportive of her and allow her to make her own decision. It is so frustrating. I don't want to see her continually sick, and tired and stressed, and alone. But how do I make her see that? I know there is love there. In those far too fleeting moments, you can hear it in her voice. Once in a blue moon he will do something selfless, (which I believe is almost always prompted by a phone call from her mother), and then you can see it in her face. When does the bad out-weigh the good? What does it take to see the whole picture? For me it was Logan. For her it will be something different I'm sure.

So I bite my tongue. Spend long hours on the phone. Buy stock in Tim Horton's, and keep gas in the tank.

To those friends I mentioned at the beginning. THANK YOU. I had no idea how much of a strain a bad personal relationship can have on a friendship.

Please, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.